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Location: Greensboro, NC, United States

Monday, September 29, 2008

Holy Humor, Batman!

One of my favourite shows as a child was the 1960's live action Batman TV show. It was campy, and full of adult humor that I didn't get at the time, but I still loved it. Sadly, it hasn't been released on DVD, and from what I've read on the web, it doesn't appear it will be in the near future.

But in doing a little web searching, I ran across this page on a web forum where someone had posted a number of hilarious quotes from the show. (I haven't checked the website out thoroughly on which these are located, so beware. From what I've seen, however, the site looks to be safe. Also, those of you with more delicate sensibilities should beware of the numerous double entendres for which the show was so famous.) Here are a few of my favourites:


Robin: If we close our eyes, we can't see anything.
Batman: A sound observation, Robin.

Batman: Nobody wants war.
Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.
Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

Robin: You can't get away from Batman that easy!
Batman: Easily.
Robin: Easily.
Batman: Good grammar is essential, Robin.
Robin: Thank you.
Batman: You're welcome.

Batman: You're a rare lady, Catwoman, you're right on time.

Robin: How about rushing the place, Batman?
Batman: Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big.

Robin: [After the Black Widow has hypnotized Batman] Batman, I need you to sing a song! That way I can free you from the Black Widow's evil thrall!
Batman: Very well, Robin. I think a little Gilbert & Sullivan... [Picks up flower] I'm called Little... Buttercup... Poor Little... Buttercup... Though I could... never tell... why...

Batman: It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park.

Gordon: Batman, you unscrambled that safe's combination in five seconds flat! How did you do it?
Batman: With my Bat-Five-Seconds-Flat-Combination-Unscrambler, Commissioner.

Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.

Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.

Robin: Aren't you even going to try and get loose?
Batman: What's the cube root of pi, Robin?

Batman to Joker: Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies?

Batman (presenting his case in court): We are gathered here today to prove that Catwoman, Joker, and their men are guilty of several major offenses. To wit: robbery, attempted murder, assault.....and battery! Mayhem, and overtime parking.

Batman: Come on, Robin. Let's help a little old lady across the street, and into the penitentiary.

Barbara: I'm afraid I'm still naive enough to believe the impossible can't be done.

Riddler's henchman: Want a piece of cheese?
King Boris: Not without a good vintage port, you lackey.

Commissioner Gordon: You know I'm violently opposed to police brutality.

Batman: Planting a timebomb in a local library is a felony.

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